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Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006, 07:25 am

It wasn't my grandmother who died. I've still feel sad. I met the woman once, maybe twice. I can hardly remember anything from the visit. What I do keep thinking about it my grandparents who have already passed and the one I have left(my father's mother). I'm really feeling the urge to go visit her.

I'm really a bit too over emotional. I'm on the brink of tears now and I broke out in tears twice on the way to work.

I remember at grandpa Sarnowski's funeral I was balling. I was a real mess. I remember someone mentioned that we conceived Aiyre just about at the point he passed. I remember thinking that maybe Aiyre got his soul. I doubt it now. They are very different people.

Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006 05:09 pm (UTC)

I'm not sad. Gramma was barely aware and on morphine 24/7. The last time I saw her, she didn't remember me. I'm happy that she is no longer in pain. I'm happy that she is no longer wasting away. She was a really neat lady when I was younger and I have some quite pleasant memories of the woman she once was. I'm also happy that she isn't a financial and emotional burden on her children anymore. Now I can just remember Gramma as she was when she still lived in her own house without having to think about the way she was in the nursing homes.

Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)

With the deaths in my family, I am also happy that many of those things happened. I often have regrets regarding my treatment of them and I'm sad that I'll never get to see them again. My sadness is me centered. I'm not sad they are dead, I'm sad that I'll never get to ...(fill in the blank).